Friday, August 27, 2010

Pining?

I've been getting a lot of relationship advice lately.

Some of it, like the advice on Mr. Doug Phillip's "How to Evaluate a Suitor" CD, has been life-changing.

Some of it has been just plain bad.

Some people have even cornered me in public and admonished me like a five year old that some of my behavior is not appropriate. I've been accused "chasing" a guy.

This was utterly shocking to me, as I'm not the type to chase at all. I've always been the type to wait for the young man to make the first move. Such was the case with the young man I've mentioned in the past, who I've been good friends with for almost a year before the idea of pursuing something more even entered my head.

As I said, I've been friends with this young man a while. As such I'm comfortable being myself around him. I'm comfortable texting my friends. I'm comfortable messaging them on Facebook. I'm also quite comfortable baking them the odd pie or pound cake when they've had a bad day. (Just ask my former roommate.) Apparently this behavior is "chasing" a guy, even when we've been friends for a while.

I would think completely changing the way I interact with someone the moment they become a romantic interest would be more chasing, but oh well.

To be fair, I haven't actually been out on any kind of date or had any serious conversations on relationship or other matters with this young man outside of as just friends. He's heavily involved with his church, working two jobs to pay for school, and school itself, which just started this past week, and we as such haven't really "gone anywhere."

And just to make things a little more complex? This Monday my best friend introduced me to an old friend of hers, who is equally as mature, if not moreso, than the first young man, equally as intelligent, and equally as "removed from the world." Unlike the first young man, who we'll call George, this second young man, who we'll call Mark, is deeply Catholic, which is the faith in which I have grown up and with which I am most familiar.

For all of ten minutes, I was in a terrible tizzy.

And then I realized that my life is most fortunately NOT a Jane Austen novel. Because as much as I love them, I wouldn't really want to live in one. I don't need to lock myself in my room and weep, nor do I need to spin a web of drama as apposed to a support group.

I've been given a very rare opportunity here. An opportunity to put my head above my heart. An opportunity for discernment and prayer, a chance to grow closer to God. And a chance to NOT fall head over heels into an attachment without considering all aspects of the situation.

After all, why do I really need to be caught up in young men, chasing them or otherwise? I have the love of a vast extended family, and most of all of my God and his Son.

So who's pining?

6 comments:

Drew said...

It sounds like you are handling yourself and this situation beautifully!! =)

Andrea

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