To mull over what happened the other day, I'm going to go into it with a bit more detail. Mostly because I need the encouragement I know I'll get from you guys. You're all so wonderful, I hope you realize that.
In short, I was explaining my LAF bumper sticker after dance class this week, and one of my fellow dancers decided to rip me a new one in an email that night.
Basically, first she went on and on about how stay-at-home mothers are bad for children because they smother them and spoil them. And that being a stay-at-home mother isn't enough to "satisfy" your average intelligent woman.
Then she proceeded to attack my "Naive and antiquated" views on "women being Mommies and men taking care of them." And that I need to get real, because the "knight in shining armor" I pray for is never going to show up, and I'm just going to end up jaded.
She berated me for wearing old-fashioned, romantic clothing. She tore me down for enjoying sewing. "I always hear about how you want to be a mommy, but I never hear about you exploring your talents."
Just because a good number of my interests are on the domestic side doesn't mean they aren't legitimate interests! And just because I spend more of my time serving my family than indulging in hobbies 24/7 doesn't mean there's something wrong with me.
Does it?
I'm just at a loss so see how arrogant and jaded a 21 year-old would have to be to assume she has the wisdom and right to tell me these things.
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6 comments:
Hi Lydia,
I haven't commented on your blog before but just wanted to leave a word of support ... I think this girl is really wrong to have written you such an awful email - if she wanted to express genuine concerns about your views she shouldn't have done it in such an abusive way, so it sounds like she's just ranting.
Unfortunately, I can't think of anything you can do about it (except pray for her, of course) - with regard to the remark about arrogance, I think perhaps it's easy for young people to be arrogant because we haven't had the life experience to knock it out of us. It's often easy to say "Oh, I think in this situation the ONLY possible thing to do is X, and I really don't understand how anyone could think differently" when you've never actually been in the situation.
Take care,
--Carol
Mulling over this myself now. Possibly lengthy comment later...
Everly
Yes, Lydia there is something seriously wrong with you - in the eyes of the world. (And thank God for it!).
Dare to be different - (actually, you'll find there are a lot of women out there who desperately want to be like you, but they're so daft they keep falling for the feminista party line "you will not be fulfilled if you do not compete with men on every level - including looking like them"!)
Pray for the poor girl, she sounds like a sad case to me!
Keep your chin up!
I am so sorry you had to hear that from her. Personally I am shocked that someone would have the gall to write you such an e-mail!!
I would be tempted to write her back with something about you being surprised that she is so close minded and bigoted against stay-at-home mothers! But then you really don't want to put her back up any further than it already is.
Lydia, this young woman is obviously very angry and insecure with her life. For her to strike out at you in an e-mail proves that there is more going on with her life than she probably let's on. So I totally agree with Jingle Bella that you can really only pray for her.
I would seriously consider writing her back a loving e-mail that clearly states why you believe what you do and leave it at that. She sounds very angry, so I am not sure if it will have an impact. She has been programmed by the feminist movement.
It is hard to be different, but it is also wonderful. God will bless you for trusting in Him and doing what you know to be right. If you can, I would just view this opportunity to sharpen your spiritual sword :)
And in case you missed it, I think you are an amazing young woman. I love reading your blog and take great comfort, that although we are different ages, in how you live your life :)
Take care,
Leigh
Okay now...
I pretty much agree with my fellow commenters. My first reaction was to have a little rant and explain to you how horribly wrong this girl was, but of course, you already knew that. As I mentioned briefly before, I was in a similar situation once when a group of girls tried to pressure me into sounding stupid when questioned about homeschooling. They all had each other and I was nervous talking in front of them in the first place so you can imagine my red face when they started ganging up on me about the way I was raised. I stumbled and tried to change the subject but no, they wanted to discuss philosophy if I was so interested in it (one of the girls is getting a degree in philosophy) and talk about all of those classics I have supposedly read. Well, I kind of made a fool of myself and they probably thought that they had prevailed. That evening when I tried to talk about it like an adult with my family, I ended up crying. They encouraged me and praised my efforts...even gave me recommended reading! After it had all passed, I was actually better off than before the attack. I hope that you feel the same way. But, then again, these girls were not livid as this girl is. In that case, I have a different example. I used to live at an orphanage in Haiti when I was twelve, waiting for my four siblings to be able to be adopted from there. Often times the older girls there would write me very hateful letters or simply say cruel things to my face or (loudly) behind my back. It didn't take me long to realize that these girls actually loved me but were very angry and in much pain because of their situation. Their parents had either died, given them away because they couldn't feed them or abandoned them because they didn't want them. Neither of these three options make for an emotionally stable teenager. The anger that they felt for their unfortunate lives was taken out on me, one of the only people they knew who wouldn't beat them for saying these things. I'll bet that this girl who is attacking you so ridiculously is the daughter of a working mother. Her mother probably fed her this stuff from day one, telling her that she is doing the right thing and not to be jealous of girls who have stay-at-home-mothers because "That's wrong! They're getting spoiled!" So my advice to you is to be strong because, you really are right and God is on your side along with all of us. She may have "the world" but the world doesn't stick up for you. She is also very bitter and on the wrong track. As everyone else has said, pray for her and be kind. Pray before you email her if you choose to do that and let her words roll off your back. I know that this is difficult! You don't need to get nitty-gritty with statistics of children raised by working parents etc, just lay down your beliefs and be Christ's ambassador. We'll be praying too!
Everly Pleasant
Wow, that was really, really long. I could go on and on! If you would ever like to email me you can at everlypleasant@gmail.com
I won't ask you to put your email address on the www but if you want to email you can email me first because mine is already out there.
Good luck with Miss Cranky Pants
Everly
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